My everything

I can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of utmost importance to me.

I am  free in my expression of love and am willing to take chances on new experiences, provided everything is in good taste.

Brains turn you on. I must feel that my partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise, I find it difficult to sustain the relationship.

I require loving, cuddling, wining and dining to know that I’m being appreciated.

Well, the above is me and very true indeed. I am wat is said. Too demanding? Hard to please?

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born;

and a time to die.

A time to plant;

and a time to pluck what is planted.

A time to kill;

and a time to heal.

A time to break down;

and a time to build up.

A time to weep;

and a time to laugh.

A time to mourn;

and a time to dance.

A time to cast away stones;

and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace;

and a time to refrain from embracing.

A time to gain;

and a time to lose.

A time to keep;

and a time to throw away.

A time to tear,

and a time to sew.

A time to keep silence;

and a time to speak.

A time to love;

and a time to hate!

我终于还是说了一句我爱你
还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨
心跳的声音像舞动奇迹
你看着我说千万不要爱上你
因为你只会让我伤心别傻了快点喊停
你那么冷静忽远又忽近
我知道我对你来说也许太年轻
我想我猜我问我终于了解
原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味
只想爱你当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定
只想爱你好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避
sorry我还是不会放弃爱你
sorry我还是不会放弃
我还是不会放弃爱你

But I guess its too late liao…. Too late liao….

g 读你的表情你的回忆,
早料到你的心已经做好了决定,
我懒得再理清毫不犹豫拒绝再对你姑息
伤了我的心,算什么东西,
我不要证明,没意义,随便你,去花心,甩掉你,我开心
后悔了吧,戒掉你的方法,不过就想再见分叉,
不舍是傻瓜,
后悔了吧,从你的口中听不到一句真心话,
说不说反正没查,
后悔了吧,戒掉你的方法,不过就想再见分叉,
不舍是傻瓜
后悔了吧,从你的口中听不到一句真心话,
别自以为爱很伟大
~~
读你的表情你的回忆,早料到你的心已经做好了决定,
我懒得再理清,毫不犹豫拒绝再讨你欢喜
伤了我的心,算什么东西,
我不要证明,没意义,随便你,去花心,甩掉你,我开心
后悔了吧,戒掉你的方法,
不过就想再见分叉,不舍是傻瓜,
后悔了吧,从你的口中听不到一句真心话,
说不说反正没查,
后悔了吧,戒掉你的方法,不过就想再见分叉,不舍是傻瓜
后悔了吧,从你的口中听不到一句真心话,
别自以为爱很伟大

Wat is love to me? Wat is regret? Do I still fit to comment? Am i still fit to say or ask? I really have no idea liao….

Wht am i becoming too? I also dun know …. Wht do I know? I am such a jinx… Nothing but trouble…. I am just the devil in disgusie… Coming around to ruin people’s life/…… Its time for me to go i guess…. Stop all this misery and trouble…

一回家关了手机也打算关了感情
没力气和你争什么道理
用心是要不要的问题
专心是爱不爱的问题
如果你用了真的感情
不会总轻易被别人吸引
伤心是痛不痛的问题
死心是累不累的问题
不能改变你只好远离

i really dun know wat to do already.

watever you say is ringing inside me everytime.

you dun care about me anymore, you never had me b4 and you neva will, you used to hear my voice and all your troubles will ease but now? i’m creating more troubles for you.

Wat i can say is follow your heart lor if you feel tht i am a misery to you then kick me out of your life. Dun hold onto it…

我舍不得睁开眼睛
害怕身边没有你
也许在梦境里
是我们最近的距离
想念你温热的手心
冷风里把我握紧
当冬天又来临
这温度该怎么延续

谢谢你曾经爱过我
给我最美的经过
但生命最爱被剥夺
未来的路该怎么走

对你的感觉已不再纯粹
关于你的一切
总想再多懂一些
看不清楚爱情来的路线
来不久作防备
他悄悄的将我侵略
我感觉有些晕眩

发觉心无时无刻在想念
就算努力藏住爱的宣言
脸上的笑意却再骗不了谁
发觉心不知不觉的沦陷
投入太多我却开始胆怯
不害怕付出只怕没有机会

To you: but why dun you understand? I wun ask for more anymore. Everytime when i write my blog there bound to be more misunderstandings and quarrel. But it no longer matters to you I’m just seeking for people’s sympathy but this is not true. I do not need people to pity me. I just wan to let you know. Tht’s all! But….. you misinterpreate…….

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn’t give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to
hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plain things you don’t understand
(Y)ells when you won’t listen
(Z)aps you back to reality…

Love and HUrt was for you but you didn’t read… You didn’t see my true feelings and keep them but you just read and hung onto those tht were meaningless…. Why dun you believe me? What were the promises we made?

- No matter wat happens we will still stay on forever.

- If we were to quarrel, no matter how bad it is, we’ll make love and patch things up.

- No matter wat happens, our love for each ther will never change.

But wat is going on now? I say i will never give up but …….

I say i will never let you die but…….

I say i will never turn back but…….

I say i will let my heart die but…….

I beg and beg and cried and cried but you just stood on……

I dun wan to let it go… I dun wan to let it die…… But……..

I dun know wat to say so dun say……

You said:

4yrs ago you can pick yourself up from Eunice, 4yrs later you can also do the same to CINDY!

You were never happy with me, all i did was adding misery into your life, bossing you around, shitting on your head, taking away your manliness, making you a wimp infront of your family and friends……

I was a devil, i’ve created a monster out of you.

To stop loving me is to good thing for you. cos you will not be hurt further and you choose to be yourself 4 yrs ago. You are happier tht way, you have all the freedom and time to yourself.

I am The second Eunice, I know I am never the wan you wan and will feel happy and proud to be with. I no longer will ask for anymore commitment neither will i think to walk down the asile with you. I just live on till the day you get sick and tired of me then. Cos……. i’ve always been th second eunice. <A slut and unreasonable bitch>

You no longer answer my questions right away, there is the pause or silence tht will make my heart stop beating. Sometimes, I wish you can just tell me straight so i can just die off…. But i am afraid to accept the truth. I cry but it doesn’t make things better, i beg, it also did not make it well, I stayed on and it is still one big mess……..

You said i am creating barriers but how to create barriers when there were no floors at all? I dun know wat to say. But…. wat hurt most was:

"You are welcome to stay in my house till you find another companion"

wat is this suppose to mean? I dun dare to ask neither do i wan to know. God knows, the devil knows and onli you know. I do not just wish to be here for the sake of being here neither do i wan to just be a tool of sex. If i really have to be in this situtation or state to stay by your side then I’ll do it….

I WILL DO IT!!!!!! I SAY I WILL DO IT!!!!!!

let others say I’m cheap, slut, worthless…. but this will be the onli way to prove i really do love you and i will die without you.

You are right no one will pity me, no one will agree with me, no one will take on my side….. All these tht happened today serve me right… I deserve all these. The way you treat me now is wat i deserve. I will not say anything cos i deserve it. I DESERVE IT!!!!

I just hope……………. just hope………. just just just hope………

if i can…………. to just close my eyes and sleep on forever…….I’m tired …………very very very tired…………….

I am so sad i do not know wat to say.

I am in pain but i need to cut and bleed to feel the pain.

I am so hurt but i must pretend i am fine.

What must i do so tht i am really fine?

I dun know wht to say or wht to do anymore. Dun ask me wat i wan, dun ask me how i feel, dun bother about me anymore cos this will make you a happier person. I never knew i had created so much pain and agony in you. You were not happy with me but i was always very happy. You really make me felt like a princess and i really appreciate. You gave me a lot which others could not. You made me know the true meaning of love making. YOu made so many first time in my life, you gave me surprises tht i wan.

I dun know you still love me a not. I no longer ask for more. I cannot ask for more. I will not ask for more. If this is wat i have to do then i shall be it. I will not wan to hurt you anymore but if you no longer love me then "make love" is no longer the same it will just become "having sex".

I guess, anyone can just "have sex" with anyone but "make love" is onli to the person you love and own. Own me to love me but please dun own me just to have sex.

My heart is bleeding…. When will it stop? Will he stop the bleeding for me or just let me bled to death? I do not know and dun dare to know. I’ve lost all hope and can’t ask for more or any more answers cos i know nothing pleasing will be said.

please love me like you used too? If not…………

I know I’ve hurt you so deeply and you’ll never forgive me…

You think that I’ve betrayed you by calling him. But i never wanted to go back to him. My post on time is about him but can’t you see that I’m telling him that is impossible cos i only love you and its you only?

About the other wan…. I never say your family is bad… They are very good to me so good till i feel bad myself… I am the problem i dun know how to stay with people and dun know how to make them know i appreciate…

They (your family) has never been bad to me never but it is me myself and i am the cause of the problem…. I am too wildful, I’ve always had Wat i wan in my own family that’s why i feel so funny in your family… I dun like to care about other people’s feeling and that is why i hurt you so much… I’m too petty and unreasonable liao for the 24 years of my life… I’m always living in a world of my own… I never wan to grow up… I am so selfish… I know i am wrong…

If you really can no longer love me i understand it is me who caused everything and it is me who destroyed everything.. What I want to say is you’ve been so good to me that i took you for granted and i do appreciate for all the things you’ve done for me./…. I really do…. I dun know how to show that i do love and appreciate you… You did so much for me and yet i hurt you over and over again.

I dun wan to be the second Eunice in your life… I dun wan to walk out of your life but will you really accept me into your life again? Will you be able to let this relationship start all over again? Will you still wan to keep the promise we had for each other?

I’m scared i dun know Wat to do…. I really dun know…. I’m afraid of losing you but yet i do not know how to cherish… My mum is  always rite,,, I can never be a tame horse… N one can tame me down,,, I am too myself already.. But will you still wan me? I dun know whether i can change but i just hope thing will not be worst than it was before… I wan you and only you in my life. you ask me not to say sorry to you but i have to…..

I AM SORRY!!! and i really do wan to be Mrs Sim and the best thing that ever happened in my life is you!!!! I AM SORRY!!!!

Sorry to your family and most of all you!!!!!